Posts Tagged ‘airplane’

The one and only church left in Jerusalem was burning. Towering flames lit the sky and illuminated crowds of people in the street. Most were celebrating the inferno. I walked into a nearby museum and into its massive marble floored lobby. Dozens of cameras mounted on the walls snapped photos of me from every angle, checking to see if I was a terrorist. Luckily, I was not.

I passed through the museum and out the back to a large, mostly vacant airfield. My favorite professor was giving a lecture on warfare and today the class was being held inside a Learjet parked out on the airstrip. Kevin, Lucas, and Melissa were attending the class with me. We filed into the jet and I made my way through the small group of other students to take a seat in the back, buckling myself into the leather chair. I could see a small river flowing by the airfield outside my window.

We watched with growing concern as the banks overflowed and water started flooding into the airfield and under our plane.

The professor stood at the front of the jet but hadn’t started his lecture yet. Not many of the students seemed interested anyway, as they were all talking about the dam upstream on the  river. A large flow of water was scheduled to be released down the river and was predicted to flood a local baseball field. We all though that was a terrible idea, as it would probably ruin the game scheduled to be played that night. As if on cue, the river began to rise and was soon flooding much more severely than we had predicted. We watched with growing concern as the banks overflowed and water started flooding into the airfield and under our plane.

It became apparent that the water wasn’t going to carry us away, so we kept calm. That calm was soon sundered as one of the students pointed out the window. “Oh no, the dam!” The river’s water level surged and headed straight for the airfield.  The current swept under the jet and began to carry it away. I reacted quickly, rushing to the front of the jet and shutting the door just as it was about to be inundated. The jet bobbed up and down in the water as we headed down what was now a massive river. A light sprinkle of rain started, quickly turning into a constant downpour. Waves began to grow larger with each passing moment.

Lucas decided this was a perfect time to start messing around and jump up and down on the plane, seeing if he could get it to flip over. “Stop being stupid and fucking around,” I yelled at him. “You’re going to make us tip over and drown!”

The jet bobbed up and down in the water as we headed down what was now a massive river.

The flood current turned and we started heading straight for a giant air hanger on the edge of the field. Tower walls of water rose before the jet, dwarfing our makeshift boat. I grabbed the controls and somehow managed to force the jet around to hit the waves head on. It was our only chance to prevent capsizing. A tall chain link fence stuck out of the water in front of us and I called out to the rest of those on board.

“Brace yourselves!”

“Brace yourselves!” The plane plowed through the fence without even a jostle.

“Did you just say brace yourselves?” Melissa asked incredulously. She thought it was a truly ridiculous thing to say.

“Yeah, yeah,” I replied. I decided to embrace it and took it to the next level, shouting out like a pirate. “All right me ‘arties! This be it! This storm be rougher’n your mother’s arse!”

Everyone laughed.

Note: Hey, only 4 months between posts this time. Progress. I’ve got tons of dreams recorded in a backlog, it’s just a measure of typing them up.





Shia LaBeouf just wouldn’t stop stealing cheese from our high school reunion.  Everybody in the dining hall was getting pretty fed up with his antics, so I devised a plan to lure him out.  I had our class president announce over the loudspeakers that his mother had just died.

The doors to the back kitchen swung open and he came out moments later, head drooped and tears starting up.  I laughed and called out to him, “Hey Ruff LaBeouf! What were you doing with all that cheese, making an airplane?!”  The rest of my classmates thought that was a pretty dick move and they proceeded to tell him his mother wasn’t really dead.  His frown turned into an indignant scowl and he glared pure hate at me.

I tried to patch things up with him.  “Look man, I was joking around. I’d love to eat a cheese plane! If you make me a cheese plane I will eat it.”

He spent the rest of the night trying to design the best cheese plane possible, eventually settling on a flying saucer shaped airplane of cheese for aerodynamic concerns.


I squeezed into the packed theater row.  “Excuse me, excuse me, sorry.”  Every purple upholstered seat was filled with people eagerly awaiting the exclusive premiere.  Little did they know they were all actually here to witness me receiving an award, so I tried to hide my smile.

I found my seat in the middle of the row and got settled.  The murmur of the crowd grew with anticipation.  The doors to the back of the theater opened, and several security guards streamed into the hall and stopped in the aisle at either end of my row.  One pointed at me.  I nodded, stood, and squeezed my way back out.  As soon as I was free of the seats they tackled me violently, dragging me down to the ground.

I tried fighting them off, but there were too many.  Dragged to my knees I threw a few off, raised my fists into the air and screamed, “KHAAAAAAAN!”  With that the guards relented, stepping back.  I stood and smiled, basking in the audience’s applause at my performance and award.

After that it was time to board the plane for home.  I arrived at the airport and began to ascend the escalator up to the flight’s gate.  The top of the escalator was screened off with thick blue curtains.  A stewardess was standing off to the side near the curtains, filing her nails, clearly bored out of her mind.  Parting the curtains I was surprised to realize the escalator ended right outside the plane’s cockpit.  I turned to the right, heading toward the doorway to the plane, and was suddenly sucked off my feet by the powerful pull of the plane’s jet engines running at full throttle just behind me!  I clung for life to the escalator’s railing, looking to the stewardess, pleading for help.  She just shrugged and went back to her nails.

“Service here has really gone down,” commented my mother from further down the escalator.

I scowl extra hard at the stewardess as I pick myself up from the ground and head into the plane.  Once inside it is quickly apparent the airplane is gigantic, the interior easily the size of the theater I had just left.  There was a mix up with my ticket, and my original seat had been taken, so I went upstairs to the only open section of seats.  A few passengers in front of me were just taking there seats.  Four rows of seats sat upon a large circular cardboard platform, suspended from the ceiling like a chandelier.  I watched each passenger walk to the ledge next to the platform, pause, and time their jump with the swinging of the chandelier.

“Screw this,” I said.

I walked up to the ledge, tossed my luggage over the side to the level below and then followed it, leaping down to the ground.  This level of the plane was much nicer.  Where are Lucas, Melissa, and Steven? I knew I would find them someplace around here.  I bet their seats weren’t taken. I soon found them, seated in sections walled off from the rest of us by thick, curved Plexiglas like a huge fish tank.  Man, they’re lucky.  Those are good seats.