I sat on the grass, leaning back on my extended arms with legs splayed out in front of me. I was hanging out with the USA Women’s Soccer Team. I was also very pregnant. Wait, I thought, Guys aren’t supposed to get pregnant. Isn’t this weird? I contemplated a little more. Shit, maybe it’s just really, really rare. Damn.
The phone rang in my pocket and I answered. The voice on the other line spoke. “Hello, this is Jerrifus, I’m looking for Martin.”
“Sorry,” I replied. “That’s my dad.”
“No problem, I just wanted to let you know that the soundtrack to Conan the Barbarian is now in iTunes. Also, I have several pictures from the movie I can email you and would like to know who among your whitewater rafting friends may be interested.”
I thanked Jerrifus and hung up. I picked up the conversation I was having earlier with the soccer players seated in the circle on the grass with me. Alex Morgan pointed at my bloated stomach and laughed. “It looks like a hairy soccer ball!” I was a little annoyed, since my stomach isn’t at all hairy.