Shia LaBeouf, Cheese Thief

Posted: June 30, 2011 in Memories of things that didn't happen
Tags: , , , ,

Shia LaBeouf just wouldn’t stop stealing cheese from our high school reunion.  Everybody in the dining hall was getting pretty fed up with his antics, so I devised a plan to lure him out.  I had our class president announce over the loudspeakers that his mother had just died.

The doors to the back kitchen swung open and he came out moments later, head drooped and tears starting up.  I laughed and called out to him, “Hey Ruff LaBeouf! What were you doing with all that cheese, making an airplane?!”  The rest of my classmates thought that was a pretty dick move and they proceeded to tell him his mother wasn’t really dead.  His frown turned into an indignant scowl and he glared pure hate at me.

I tried to patch things up with him.  “Look man, I was joking around. I’d love to eat a cheese plane! If you make me a cheese plane I will eat it.”

He spent the rest of the night trying to design the best cheese plane possible, eventually settling on a flying saucer shaped airplane of cheese for aerodynamic concerns.


  1. Haha, your subconscious is so weird.

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