YEEAAHHH!!

Posted: July 17, 2010 in Memories of things that didn't happen
Tags: , , , , ,

We’d done it.  My team had just pulled off an incredible score.  A $7.1 million gold bar stored  beneath a natural cavern in a seemingly impenetrable vault.  The cave was a popular tourist attraction, and we started our escape, blending in amidst scattered groups of Boy Scouts taking in its sights.  All we had left to bypass was the security checkpoint at the cave’s exit.

The guard searched through our bags with the boredom typical of such a mundane post.  As he was about to zip up our last duffel bag he paused.  He reached in and held up a small piece of plastic, raising his eyebrows as he regarded us.  It was a portion of a security badge identical to the one he was wearing.

We froze, looking at one another.  As the guard was about to say something I interjected.  “Ah Paul, how could you forget you had our parking badge on you?  Now how are we going to pay for our parking spot?”  The guard looked puzzled for a moment, but then tossed it to me with a smile, zipped up the bag and sent us on our way.

Voices raised in alarm sounded behind us.  The cavern’s curator came running up, arms flailing wildly when they weren’t pushing the thick-rimmed  glasses back up his nose.  “The gold!  The gold is gone!  It’s been stolen!”  My team and I quietly and calmly walked away, smiles growing on our faces.

The guard snapped to attention.  “How?  When?!”

“I don’t know!” moaned the curator.  “It may have been days ago, I haven’t been down there recently.”  His eyebrows shot up as a realization hit him.  “The lion feeders!  They were the last ones down there, it must have been them!”

Back in our secret lair

Champagne corks popped and spirits were high.  “That was a close one, Earl.”

“Yes it was, team,” I said as  I donned my sunglasses.  “Looks like we, leveraged, our way out of that one.”

YEEAAAHHHH!!!!!!

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