Matt’s Mom and the Mob

Posted: July 18, 2011 in Memories of things that didn't happen
Tags: , , , , ,

Kevin and I were returning to our motel room, walking along the sidewalk with rolling luggage in tow.  I was dressed in a fine suit of imported silk.  We turned onto the concrete path leading to our motel room door, one in a long line facing the residential street.  I glanced at the window of the room next to ours and saw someone looking back out.  They were frantically banging on the glass, silently screaming with urgency.

“Something’s not right, Kevin.  Wait,” I said. “Something is wrong. Don’t open the door. Let’s get out of here. The mob must have found us.”  Kevin lowered the room key and turned with me to leave.  The ear splitting screech of tires grabbed our attention.  A minivan came roaring down the street and skidded in a U-turn to a stop in front of us.  The side door flew open and Matt yelled for us to jump in quick.  His mom sat behind the wheel.

We threw in our luggage and quickly followed it ourselves.  I clicked my seat belt and the door slammed shut.  I looked out the back window of the van.  A green 1969 Dodge Charger leapt out of its parking space on the street in a cloud of tire smoke.  Its occupants were tough looking characters in suits and fedoras. The Charger sped across the street and rammed into the back of the van.  Metal crumpled and shattered glass filled the air.

“We’re boned,” I said.  “Just stop, maybe they won’t kill us.”  Matt’s mom floored the accelerator, and the minivan instantly took off.  The Charger followed in close pursuit.  I had never seen such driving.  Matt’s mom handled the van like it was a race car, careening around corners, jumping curbs to cut corners and purposefully sideswiping the low stone walls in front of neighborhood houses to avoid slowing down too much around turns.  We achieved speeds over 70 mph as the houses on either side diminished to a blur. The mob car slowly began losing ground until it tried to take one corner too tightly and spun out, coming to rest after it slammed into the side of one house’s nearby woodpile.

We finally reached the safety of the convention center.  It was far too crowded here for the mob to make their move.  Matt and his mom dropped us off and we took our luggage inside.

I stopped and smacked my forehead. “Oh man!  I forgot my sunglasses in the motel room!  Those things cost me $175!”  I was lying, they really only cost $150.  Monica showed up to tell me where I could buy some good replacements.

Emily emerged from the crowd and was overjoyed to see her brothers alive.  She gave us hugs.

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