I was pretty nervous. It’s not every day that you’re selected to be Earth’s ambassador to aliens about to make first contact. They were scheduled to land in my backyard at 8:00 PM sharp. I knocked back a double shot of Crystal Head vodka to calm my jitters and glanced at the clock.
“Shit!” I exclaimed. “It’s 8:00 right now!” A piece of chewing gum flew out of my mouth as I spoke. I looked out my back window. The swimming pool took up most of the yard. Its water reached all the way up to the base of the window frame. A sudden flash of bright light lit the pool and three spotlights beamed down from above. A red and white rocket ship straight out of a 1950′s serial gently glided down to rest hovering a few feet above the water’s surface. I was surprised to see the ship was only about six feet tall.
I pressed my face close against the glass trying to get a better look. A sudden metallic clank accompanied the door on the bottom of the rocket flying open. Something shot down out of the rocket into the pool. In a split second a shape flew through the water and burst up to the surface to strike the window in front of my face. A small grotesque alien with terribly mutated features was plastered against the glass. It let out a horrible bleating noise, like a goat being skinned alive. I screamed.